How Might We Lessen Each Others' Burdens?
Life piles up everyday. We can all help.
“How can I help to ease the burden of those around me?”
I keep coming back to that question. It’s often when I’m running, walking, or doing something where my mind is elsewhere. It’s been a bit of a nagging thought, especially when I reflect on daily tasks.
The world is, has always been, and will always be, tough. Right now, we’re in a most trying time. Without a strong community around us, it would be truly hard to cope. We’re all faced with many burdens each day and I’ve started to wonder if there’s a balm for at least some of them.
One note: I find that my personal community is already doing a great job of this stuff. We work collectively to help each other, often with a sincere goal to pay the favor back or an understanding that it’s not necessary. If you read this and find that you’re already doing all these things, that’s wonderful! I’m writing in hopes that this spurs someone to action, to build their own community up and help create good.
When I think about “burdens”, I think of two types.
Most easily noticed are the serious, life-altering burdens we all encounter: sickness, death, loneliness—all the sad, assured parts of life. They shock you out of your everyday and people tend to come out to support those. Those are burdens we’re used to lending a hand through.
Then, there are burdens that get a lot less press: everyday things that we’re taught to simply tough out. I’m thinking broadly here, things like:
The relentless need to run errands.
Making dinner when the kids are sick, you’re exhausted, and laundry is piling up.
Home repair tasks that are a lot easier with another set of hands.
Lonely commutes to work through roads that seem to get worse every day.
The second type of burdens are all things that we can all mostly get through alone. Each little stress compounds, though, and often has me wondering: what if we collectively worked to help each other through?
We know to show up when something tragic happens. We’re taught to cook food for those that are mourning and I’ve received some amazing soup when I have been. Thank you.
What if, though, we simply dropped off food to make someone’s Tuesday a little brighter? What if we made it a habit to buy a coffee if we know someone had a rough night?
Those are the burdens I’m looking to ease. It requires us all to look around a little more proactively and ask, “how can I help?” more often. It also requires a good amount of give-and-take: this only really works if those that ease burdens have their own eased as well.
More just piles on more and so much of what we’re asked to do simply keeps us busy. Reflecting on each day, I plainly see that many things simply exist to create more: the easiest examples are in our professional lives. “Networking events” being among the most egregious offenses, so much business is there to make more money, to buy more things, to truly form a hamster wheel of burdens like cars, houses, and clothes.
Removing the question of how we can financially or socially benefit from something and simply giving because it helps someone’s day be a little bit better is a mindset shift that’s out of the norm.
Ideas to ease our burdens
So, just like in my ideas for community building in tough times, writing is cheap without action. So how might you reduce the burdens of those around you?
Show up in small ways. Go for a walk with friends. Attend a birthday party and be the one to help clean up. Help someone take their car to the mechanic. Don’t be afraid to help with the little things that pile up.
Give freely among those around you. If you bake, bring some to your neighbors. If you garden, share your bounty. If you’re handy, repair things to help your community save money.
Giving to a little free food pantry is another great way to ease a burden. It takes very little time out of your day and costs only as much as you’re comfortable giving. You stand a wonderful chance to give to someone you might not know, whose burdens might be truly great.
Don’t wait to start. Too many of us are well-meaning but never take the leap. Please, don’t hesitate! If it’s clear that your friend or neighbor could benefit and you’re in a position to help, do so. Till their garden, cut up a tree, do something to build them up.
Don’t just give someone more work. When you refer work to someone, ask permission first. Make sure it’s something they want, where they can truly benefit. I see this a lot in the small business world: we drum up work for each other that might not be what someone’s needs in that moment. Always ask and honor a “no” if that’s what you’re given.
Often, we’re taught to put others in front of ourselves. It’s noble, of course, but a lot more good can be done by first focusing on your immediate community and those that return the favor back to you. When your needs are truly met, it’s a lot easier to dream bigger.
I really want to make our community a better place. I’d love if these ideas made it out broadly, helping others as well. It all requires reciprocity: if you receive help, it becomes your task to help someone else—once you’re not spread so thin, that is.
We’re all faced with burdens everyday. If we collectively work to pull ourselves out of the tasks that simply keep us busy and work to ease each other’s days a bit, we’ll all be much better for it.
Well said! I wish my thoughts ran as deep and as selflessly as these. Keep sharing.