Lessons Learned from a Very Hard Year

Coming up for air enough to look back.

I’m not sure if I want to look back yet.

This Year…was immensely bad.

A lot of me wants to remark on the good that also happened this year. For now, I want to rejoice in the fact that this year is nearly over and a beautiful psychological starting-over point is almost here. 2025 is looking up. It better damn well.

I’ll save the long recap since most people reading this know me and have seen it all happen.

To sum up 2024: a lot of death. A lot. I’ve been around the block with death in my life and this year held it in excess in a way that uniquely broke me.

A family member passed way, expectedly. A pet too, which continues to hurt. A couple friends and acquaintances. And my business partner, unexpectedly, which had the effect of upending everything.

Sinister too, each was spaced out. Coming out of one when you thought you might be treading water, just slapped with another.

By default when bad things happen, we learn.

That’s what I want to talk about today. Just a few lessons that I’ve taken from this year that will stick with me.

Life moves only as fast as you let it.

Probably the best new thing I’ve learned and then put into practice this year: slow down.

Looking back, there were only two days out of the last few months where I actually had to make a quick decision and move on it. Both were business related.

We’re so programmed to think we have to make quick decisions. Psychologically, that gives others control over us. So much of our lives are set up so someone else can profit, financially or otherwise.

Slowing down has been the best thing I’ve learned to do this year. It’s even fun: start putting into practice being slow and watch people look at you incredulously when you do it. We’re wired to be fast and reactive. I’m fighting back.

The things you’re anxious about aren’t what are coming for you.

As a lifelong anxious person, this is a truth I’ve held for many years. It’s uncomfortable at first to realize; however, the stuff you worry about isn’t what will blindside you one day.

What really happens will happen when you least expect it. When you’re having a good day and your mind is elsewhere, it’ll hit. You prepare and plan for what you’re anxious over. It’s something else that will get you. I find that freeing.

Your support network is already around you.

I’ve been truly surprised by support this year. There’s the community I know I had going in and the connections that have become deeper this year. Part of me was initially surprised when some people “close” to me didn’t reach out—and still haven’t—but that feeling left quickly. They have their own stuff going on.

Everyone that’s going to be there for you in crisis is likely already around you. You might be surprised who the best of them are (see Lesson #5).

Beware, though: your community is already around you. Outsiders coming in might have their own motives. Take time to figure that part out. (See Lesson #1)

I, personally, need nature more than I’ve ever known before this year.

Kristy and I have held nature to be a sacred place for many years. We carve out time. Adventure Friday is non-negotiable.

This year, something changed. Nature has become significantly more spiritual. Places have more meaning and I crave them more. Practices like laying in a creek and looking up feel entirely new—something that Kristy forced me to do on one of my worst days this year, of which there were many.

I’m so willing to never let life and work get in the way of getting out in nature now. I’ve been “outdoorsy” my whole life and this year has changed that relationship entirely for the better.

People around you have been through so much. Anything but kindness and love is ridiculous.

Maybe the most straightforward of all of these: everyone around you has been through so much more than they let on. I’ve known this for a long time but this year really drove it home. There are many people among us whose life has really hit the fan. Multiple times, in horrible ways. When you have your own moment, some people will take the time to share theirs with you.

I’ve cried with so many people this year. The things people walk around everyday holding in is immense—and I know I only know a fraction of it.

All that said, I can’t imagine being anything but kind. I don’t understand how the world can be so mean when it takes nothing to understand how much we’re all going through. And yet, we fight. It all feels so cowardly and frail.

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I hope these help someone, someday. I don’t have many answers myself and I’m still learning things daily. I’m glad I wrote this and I’m glad I’m writing this newsletter.

We’ll see where this all ends up. I’m looking forward to a new year, with deeper connections and deeper work. It’s time to build in ways I couldn’t have dreamed of a year ago.