That which we hold sacred: Friday afternoons

Carving out balance with "Adventure Friday"

“Work-life balance” has, at times, seemed like a distant wish.

I’m not sure how we manage to make our lives so damn busy all the time. Every evening is spoken for with recurring commitments: usually walks, runs, and events all in the pursuit of community. It’s great but it’s busy.

Days are over before they start. Kristy out the door and at work before sunrise every day. I follow after and usually manage to work late, butting up against every evening’s activities.

And weekends—man. A non-working weekend day is rare. Two sequential days off hasn’t happened in recent memory. I did this to myself in the pursuit of storytelling and photography but it weighs on me after a while.

Good light exists at dinnertime. Morning shoots mean leaving out when it’s still night (I don’t do much of that). And every event is on a Saturday or Sunday, plus those evenings we already don’t have available.

In the end, I work when people are playing and I work when people are working.

I love what I do but it’s an absolute recipe for burnout and bad distance from loved ones. I’m terrified of waking up one day in 30 years realizing that I spent all my life in the pursuit of other people’s dreams or making a buck that may never truly materialize.

So, how do we fight back from eternal busyness?

Adventure Friday.

The workday ends at noon on Friday. Thankfully, Kristy’s work offers a flexible schedule to make that possible and I have a hard rule at Aspire that we don’t work Fridays except to catch up if absolutely necessary. A 7-day recurring workweek is just ridiculous and weekend shoots are constant. It has to give somewhere.

The rest of our time is up-for-grabs. Friday afternoons are sacred.

Fighting for this time to dedicate to the “balance” side of work-life balance has been incredible. For us, Adventure Friday has a few rules:

• Naps count as an adventure. Reading does too.

• No chores or catching up. Find other time for that.

• Put. The. Phones. Away.

• Friends are allowed but don’t force it.

Other than that, we let it happen without expectations. We usually don’t have a plan until we’re both off work and can start scheming. Thankfully, we have abundant and nearby access to the outdoors so it’s never too tough, even when the days are getting shorter. We do cheap things, the same kind of frugal activities we always do. Gas and snacks are our biggest expense on Adventure Fridays.

The effect? A little bit more calm in our life. A purposeful slowdown and pushback from our normal demands. A closeness with our little family that wouldn’t exist otherwise.

What do the adventures look like? Calmer things than you might think:

• Did I mention naps?

• A book, a hammock, and a creek on public lands.

• Bike rides without much rush.

• A little hike or trail run that we couldn’t otherwise find time to do.

Over time, we’ve also found friends who care about balance as well. Prioritizing this kind of thing doesn’t come naturally—or more likely, it’s been programmed out of us by our culture. I’m incredibly grateful for the friends who prioritize life alongside us.

There’s nothing profound about this.

It’s wild that carving out four hours a week from a work schedule feels so rebellious. In some ways, I’m scared to even talk about it. I’ve received some incredulous looks when I’ve explained this to people and many more “must be nice” comments.

The facts are, though, I’m not going to spend my life working the whole time. I love my job and see its impacts on those around me but I care so deeply for my family and friends and the fleeting time that’s flying by. I’m here for the people, the real people. I’m not willing to work every day, knowing I could look back on all that time and realize it was wasteful.

The irony here: I cut into Friday afternoon to write this post. Writing again feels good, though, and sharing some insight into how I think has already brought me closer to those around me.

I appreciate you all.