The Kindness We Seem To Lack

"Us" and "Them" isn't true. We're all together.

If I’m ever going to consistently write again on a personal basis, it’s going to have to be in the 10 minute moments I steal away and not in the longer essays I wish I had time to dedicate to these days. So here it goes. Apologies in advance for the typos.

The Kindness We Seem to Lack

Amsterdam and the Netherlands was amazing… and I have almost nothing to say about it. It was a beautiful trip. We walked for hours on cobblestone streets, rode bikes alongside thousands of Dutch folks, and ducked into more shops for coffee, pastries, and half-pint (“vaasje”) beers than I can count. It was a dream for several days and I’ll remember it forever.

I expected to learn a thing or two about biking while I was there. The helmet-less, beautifully chaotic city riding was incredible. I can absolutely see how it would quickly just become commonplace to be on a bike and rarely need a car.

It would never work back here, though.

There was one big takeaway: we’re not going to infrastructure or legislate our way out of our American car problem. Even if we built beautiful, safe bike lanes everywhere and separated our giant cars and trucks from bikes and pedestrians, drivers would still find a way to be terrible.

We already speed through crosswalks and spew hateful comments online about bikers and walkers whenever they come up. Those aren’t all keyboard warriors, either: I’ve taken those conversations offline and into real life and people around me will double-down on the hate.

It’s the Kindness We Seem to Lack

It’s bizarre to me that we can offer so much grace to those immediately around us and then turn around and “other” everyone else.

The bike you’re behind in the road isn’t the enemy. That’s a person, going somewhere. That’s simple. They’re not breaking laws any more often than drivers are—and I’d argue probably a lot less.

Go beyond biking too. The person in the grocery store who’s walking around, annoyingly oblivious to those around them is just a person. Their life is hard, like everyone else. Yet, we get irate.

We can extrapolate this lack of kindness into so many parts of life. I’m strapped for time today but this problem goes very deep.

I didn’t see that “otherness” when I was riding in Amsterdam

I was a random person among many thousands. Riding around walkers, trams, busses, ferries, and yes: a whole lot of cars. Like, a small American city number of cars. It wasn’t the DC Beltway or Manhattan car-packed but it felt like Roanoke or Raleigh in terms of cars.

The hate wasn’t there, though. Cars know their place. Just big, bumbling metal objects moving around all of humanity. Bikers and walkers too—sometimes people mess up or ride somewhere dumb. You divert off, maybe ring your bell if it’s especially egregious, and keep going. That’s kindness.

And it’s kindness we lack.

Thanks for the photo! I didn’t take it. Photo credit: Jace & Afsoon