You're doing fine. Do you need to change?
In a world that preaches constant "improvement", consider consistency.
The charismatic leader will always tell you: “you need to change".
Every self-help author, preacher, politician, and influencer the world over has a vested interest in convincing you that change is the answer.
Not happy with life? Read my book. Read the next one too. Tell all your friends.
Seeking fulfillment that’s so far escaped you? Join this church; not the one down the road. Give me money. Give me your time.
Not enough in the bank? The other side caused that. Vote for me.
Want to do that cool thing I’m doing? Buy this jacket. Buy those boots. Throw them out, buy this one. It’s better, I swear.
Consider, for a moment, a tree.
The average tree has done more good in the world than the average human ever will. Creating no harm in its wake—unless it falls over into your house—it’s provided shelter for creatures large and microscopic. It creates shade for many. When leaves, needles, and seeds fall, it creates soil and food for others.
At the end of its life, it can create firewood, building materials, and so much more. What’s not used decomposes to sustain the next generation and it all decomposes eventually.
A tree has never needed a self-help book.
A tree never needs someone to tell it to change its ways. It spends no time looking for better answers. It makes changes over its lifetime, based on the sunlight it has available, the nutrients its roots can locate, and the things that happens to it that it might have to heal from.
A tree is unwavering in its consistency. Some seasons, it will grow faster than others but through consistent growth, the tree manages to do more good in the world than most.
But we aren’t trees.
We can learn from trees, though: to remain consistent over time.
When you find yourself presented with new ideas, consider the cost and potential benefits. Some times, we need the change. Maybe we change our diets so we feel better or quit drinking so our health improves. A few times in life, a monumental change might make all the difference.
In many cases, though, the advice-giver stands to benefit more than you. The author can sell more books. The preacher gains an audience, money, and influence to expand. The politician is elected and rewarded by the industries they prop up. The influencer sells the jacket, turns a profit, and does it again with not much worry about the negative impact.
Others benefit when we waver.
The gym needs new members, so they tell you they have the answers. Pay $70 a month, attend classes (those cost more, by the way!), and listen to what they say. It’s hard to leave too. They want change (when you sign up) but only to their benefit—so you aren’t allowed to leave.
Never mind that running might have all the benefits at a fraction of the cost or impact of a gym.
Your business needs to grow, so you consider changes. People come out on all sides promising miracles if only you’ll sign up for what they’re selling.
What if all you needed to grow was to keep doing what you’re doing, with a better sense of consistency? You might only be a year away from your goals if only you stay the course.
You save money by keeping it in the bank, spending only when you need to, and investing over time. Of course, though, others benefit when you spend. Buy that car you don’t need and some executive wins. Buy that coffee maker that will somehow make better coffee than what you have now. Buy three more like it. You’re out that money, given to someone else to invest.
Quit selling yourself short.
You have spent years, decades, in this life making decisions. Some have been good, some bad, but you’ve learned everyday. Give yourself credit that you’ve built wisdom and a lot of it. You know your situation more intimately than any guru or “leader” ever can.
Don’t be entirely resistant to change—but consider the downsides before you lean in.
How can we grow through into consistency instead?
Some practical options:
Want to get in shape? Don’t join the latest craze gym, the supplements they sell, or the latest and greatest equipment. Commit to working out three days a week, forever. Buy a decent pair of shoes when you need them. Set a reminder for three years from now and then look back on how far you’ve come.
Want to eat better and reap those benefits? Don’t buy a diet plan. Sign up for food from your local farmer, delivered weekly. Commit to eating good food everyday. Eat McDonald’s sometimes too—don’t let somebody tell you that’s bad.
Lonely and want to find your people? Don’t reach for the people who promise salvation if only you’ll join them. Meet your neighbors. Pick up trash. Learn about the community around you. Start a garden and give what you grow. Commit to this practice and see where it goes.
Need to grow your business? Find good folks that want to help you grow over time and commit to a plan—whatever plan that is. Don’t get dragged around by every empty promise and “expert” that tells you to change. They’re asking you to change by paying them for it, not helping you.
Don’t buy the shiny things that you’ve lived for 32 years without. You’ve made it this long. Unless it’s water on a very hot day, you probably don’t need it. Someone else is selling you an idea to benefit themselves.
I’ll never tell you to change but I will press you to stay consistent. If you do make a change, I’ll remind you to stay the course. Don’t run blindly into change—ask yourself first if consistency will get you farther.
This blog is part of my consistent practice. I write every week whether I want to or not. A few weeks in, I really want to be writing. In a year, I’ll have 52 of these under my belt. I’ll look back and see where I’ve been. I won’t switch platforms in that time. I won’t decide something else is shinier.
I’ll be consistent.
Love this. Having now been in therapy for over a year, one of the most radical ideas that somehow scared me the most to consider was "What if you're actually doing ok?". It's easy to want to be fitter, busier, and richer. It's harder to sit, figure out your values, and identify that growing in one direction would mean sacrificing something you value. Saying 'no' can be its own form of self-improvement by keeping time & energy for the things you're already doing.
Correction: 5 to 10 years* fulfilling*